fuck!

oh my gosh... what happened in this whole week? two thumbs up for him who could make my mood really upside down :$ i've tried REALLY hard not to care 'bout him.. but i can't.. i've tried to angry with him when he made me down, but only with a lil smile from him, it can make me *melting*.. just like Rihanna and Ne-Yo sing about............

That's how much I love you 
That's how much I need you

And I can’t stand you
Must everything you do 
Make me wanna smile? 
Can I not like it for awhile? 
 
but you won’t let me 
You upset me girl 
then you kiss my lips 
All of a sudden I forget 
that I was upset 
Can’t remember what you did 

But I hate it 

You know exactly what to do 
So that I can’t stay mad at you 
For too long, that’s wrong 

But I hate it 

You know exactly how to touch 
So that I don’t wanna fuss and fight no more 
So I despise that I adore you 

And I hate how much I love you boy 
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can’t let you go 
And I hate that I love you so.. 

And you completely know the power that you have 
The only one that makes me laugh 

Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I 
Love you beyond the reason why 
And it just ain’t right 

And I hate how much I love you girl 
I can’t stand how much I need you 
And I hate how much I love you girl 
But I just can’t let you go 
But I hate that I love you so 

One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me 
And your kiss won’t make me weak 
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me 
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me.. 

That’s how much I love you 
How much I need you 
That’s how much I need you 
That’s how much I love you 
That’s how much I need you 

And I hate that I love you sooo... 
And I hate how much I love you boy 
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy 
But I just can’t let you go 
And I hate that I love you so 

yeah i know how mellow i look alike rite now.. but its fuckin' rite ;(


this evening i had a lunch (or whatsoever it names) with 4 of my fellas.. actually only 3 of them who firstly knew that i like him.. cause i thought that it wasnt fair to share bout him with only 3 of them, so i decided to tell the other one.. and guess what? she told me A LOT of stories bout him that made me "OMG.. what i've been thinking are maybe true.."

they suggested me to forget him slowly.. hell yeah im wanting it too, but it doesnt as easy as the way you say it -_- it need process and time.. MUCH process and time..

(hey boy i know you wont read it.. i just want you to know that i HATE the way you do everything that can make me smile easily.....)